


Seeing Red

by AshesToStars



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dave has a nightmare, Earth-C, M/M, Post-Game, Post-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 01:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14125254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshesToStars/pseuds/AshesToStars
Summary: Dave's relationship with Karkat has been perfect and wonderful for so long- but Dave starts to ponder the implications of his immortality and Karkat's painfully mortal livespan. After going to sleep in an attempt to forget about it, he has a dream about all his worst fears coming true.





	Seeing Red

Cold night air tickled against his dark skin as Dave stared skywards, sedately keeping reddened irises fixated on specks of stars, stretching across night's face like freckles. The man thought of nothing, mind blank and tranquil in the late evening relaxation as the world continued to move exactly as it should. There was nothing out of place- there was no monster to fight or task to complete. No planet at risk of sudden meteordeath and no troll or human at risk of double-dying. There were no past or future Daves to deal with now- and there never would be again. Even more than that- there was no cold, faceless enemy guarding the movements he made with a strict discipline, nor was there a cursed puppet waiting at every corner for him in the dead of night. The game was over- both Sburb and the game of "i'm okay's, the plastic mask of indifference that he once had to wear every moment in his own home. It was over now, and in it's place grew something greener. A pasture of new opportunity, ready for harvest and glowing ever greener as days pass. Dave could only briefly remember those times painfully, the trauma still stinging but not lingering past it's bedtime as it scattered off in favor of better memories. Of kids meeting online and growing together in person through the harsh reality of a fantasy setting. Those memories had their down moments- and boy did they have those in numbers- but many of those memories were golden underneath. Feelings of sparking love- that teenage thrill of 'like' or 'like-like', the late night romcoms that ended always with his eyes shut and sleep taking over as his head would rest against the one he loved so dearly. Karkat Vantas...

The name that enters his head makes Dave sigh, deep and slow, laced heavy with devotion and ending in a hardly contained giggle. If you'd told past Dave that he'd be in a relationship with a short, shouting alien with candy corn horns- well he'd probably think you were being ironic. But beyond that, he'd find the idea ludicrous. Dave couldn't imagine being without that troll now. Their relationship didn't falter. It remained strong and going stronger... dates of debates and nights full of soft flirting over dinner remaining a custom for the two. The human's favorite moments came with a very tired Karkat, cuddly and saying things he wouldn't if he was more awake. Adorable and honest, and absolutely lacking any semblance of tact... he was perfect. 

 

Just as Dave is sleepily thinking of him, the very troll stepped out on the porch, letting the darkness and wind hit against his complexion. "Dave, did you know that Egbert GENUINELY fucking wrote 'gullible' on his fucking ceiling. Can you believe how-" 

 

"Yo, yo-" Dave interrupted, looking over at his partner standing there with his eyes set on his phone. "Shut up for a sec, man. Take a look." He gestured vaguely to the sky. Karkat rolled his eyes, shoving his phone into his pocket and shuffling over to sit next to him. He stared at Dave with glaring eyes for a moment, before letting his gaze roll upwards against the night's wonderful canvas sprayed bright with it's masterpiece of stars. He couldn't retaliate- the stars were really pretty tonight. Swirling upwards in shining splendor, putting all artificial beauties to shame with natural effort. It was hard to be ornery when you had your sight transfixed against an everyday miracle. "...You know, I really do love you." Dave's words made Karkat's pointed ears perk upwards slightly, head twitching and then turning to look at the human with slight surprise. That came out of nowhere. Dave still had his eyes on the stars, but on his face rested a bittersweet smile and melancholy eyes. 

 

"I, uh," Karkat started, faltering and reaching over to put a hand on his human companion's shoulder. "I love you too, but-" His reluctantly peaceful expression had melted into one of worry. "Are you okay?" The question made Dave finally break the stare against the stars to instead grip onto Karkat's. For a moment, he just looks Karkat over, doting lightly on his troll significant without a word. Eventually, he finally allows his words to escape him.

 

"I'm fine, dude. Just thinking about stuff is all. Not important, really. I'm just...really, really happy to be here with you, is all." Dave muttered in return, putting his hand against Karkat's and reaching up to let his other embrace a grey cheek. He leaned in close, and pressed his lips against Karkat's sweetly. The troll did not resist, kissing back gently despite his concern. Once the kiss is broken, they find themselves smiling dumbly at each other. One day, they'd break that habit, or so they swear. The troll did not so easily drop his worry, however, his gaze returning to it's state before as he paused, waiting to see if Dave had more to do... more to say. But the human didn't say another word, just looks of love and actions of peace that gave off a weary calmness about him. 

 

"It's late, dipshit." Karkat replied, insult just as intimate as the kiss they'd just shared. "We need to sleep, unless you want to be fucking insufferable tomorrow." Dave chuckled.

 

"I'm fucking insufferable regardless, man." He joked back, reaching for his shades and tucking them on his shirt so he didn't leave them outside on the table where they'd been sitting just seconds before. "For real, I'll be there in a sec. Got shit to do real quick beforehand, though." Dave watched as Karkat muttered something and shrugged, leaning over to plant a soft smooch on his forehead before sleepily slugging himself off to bed. He sighed, leaning back into his chair. He'd been lying, he had nothing to do. The reality was, he was hit with a reality that he didn't like to face very often when he was watching the love of his life. Of all the things that were debatable about what stuck around after Sburb, the fact that those who god tiered were really immortal was unfaltering. It seemed pretty cool on the surface- he and his other god-tier buddies would be able to watch the changing universe together as long as they didn't somehow die heroically or justly in the years of post-game recovery. But of course... the truth now settled on those who did not god-tier.

 

And Karkat was one of those people.

 

Dave was all too painfully aware that his troll boyfriend was not going to live as long as he was. However, it got worse from there. Dave had gathered a fair bit of knowledge about the trolls and how their species worked. After a bit of questioning and a fair amount of badgering Kanaya, Dave found out that blood color determined the lifespan of trolls. Karkat, being a mutant... would have a relatively short lifespan. The fact was like a bullet straight into his chest. Visions of coffins and funerals, the miserable idea of a last kiss and last words before he would go on to live a meaningless, partnerless, Karkatless life... it plagued him. It felt like some kind of malady, suppurating and floating about in the pit of his stomach. When he thought of it, Dave found himself in a state of silent agony. The stars had suddenly begun to look quite plain, and the cool air now felt like ice growing inside of Dave's skin, threatening to tear it's way through him. Soft crickets chirping now the mighty drumming sound of a marching band, loud and pounding against his ears and making his head feel muddied, thoughts diluted by a single, powerful phrase;   
Karkat is going to die soon.

 

Dave leaned forward, putting his hands on his head and fighting the invisible enemy of rumination. Eventually, the night became so unwelcoming and hostile, that he stood from his chair and headed inside. A house that's quiet in the stillness of sleep, and yet so loud in it's silence. Was this what it would sound like all the time when he was gone? Dave didn't want to think about that. Instead, the human let out a deep exhale and went into his room.

 

The image of Karkat, under the blankets, chest rising up and down in an easy rhythm with his breathing... it was enough to help Dave's loud thoughts and lull them like a lullaby. He walked over, sitting on the bed at first and just watching him. The troll grunted, turning slightly in his sleep and humming against the bed as he did so. Dave smiled delicately, and shuffled his shirt off his body as he retreated under the covers with his datemate. A slender arm wrapped around grey form to pull him close. Karkat only let out a tiny groan of protest, before he half-asleep recognized what was going on. He nuzzled his head against the underneath of Dave's chin and made a wonderful purring sound that Dave had learned trolls tended to do sometimes. Karkat's purr was uneven and scratchy, and it was Dave's favorite. He closed his eyes, the sounds of Karkat's rumbling making it fairly easy to fall asleep.

 

When he awoke, he wasn't sure where he was. The world was drenched in a pure white, cold walls surrounded him from all sides and tiles ran up all the way to a ceiling that seemed too big and too close all at the same time. A clock rested in the middle of one of the walls, ticking against the soundless area with pounding certainty. Dave shifted his head, and realized he was sitting upright in a chair- and next to him was a small table, with flowers and a card. Suddenly, a smell hit him... it was like medicine and air freshener, and the scent combined made his stomach churn. He knew where he was, but the unmistakable sight of medical equipment cemented it entirely. A hospital room... when did he arrive in a hospital room? It was then that his eyes at last found themselves on the bed- and the person in it. He stood up with a start, eyes wide and teeth clenched. 

 

"Karkat-" He choked out, approaching the figure warily. He walked towards the bed... but before long, he realized that as he was walking forward, he was getting nowhere. He wasn't any closer to the bed than he was a moment ago when he was sitting in the chair. "K-Karkat??" He questioned outloud, reaching out and trying to grip the side of it, but finding that his hands did not seem to work that way anymore. Karkat didn't stir. The beeping of a heart monitor became loud in Dave's ear... and it was getting faster. "Karkat!" Dave called, moving forward, running, trying to reach the bedside to see him closer... but the distance did not close no matter how hard he tried. He felt winded- breathless even though he had not taken even a single step. What was going on...? Why was he here and what happened to Karkat? Was this some kind of sick joke? "Karkat, come on, wake up! Say something!" He begged, watching the motionless figure in the bed remain motionless. The hospital walls started to get closer, but Karkat only seemed to be getting further away. The beeping of the monitor was growing louder and louder in his head, beating itself into Dave's brain as he wrestled with reason in trying to understand what was going on in here. 

 

"Please-" He found that when he opened his mouth, his voice was foreign. It was impossibly quiet, and Dave couldn't seem to raise it at all. The walls started to shift once more, a dense liquid pooling from the ceiling and painting the walls red. Red... it was all red. Dave fell to the ground, knees entirely giving out within a sudden moment of fragility. He hung his head downwards and shut his eyes tight. The beeping didn't seem to want to let up for even a moment. Until suddenly, it was gone entirely. In it's place grew another eerie silence. Dave didn't open his eyes, his hands remained clenching against the floor that he had collapsed to. 

 

"Dave?" Karkat's voice got through to him instantly. Dave looked up swiftly, finding his trollmate standing there in front of him in total darkness. He looked indifferent, confused if anything. Dave scrambled to his feet and reached to touch Karkat's hands.

 

"Karkat, thank God-" He stated frantically, looking at the other like he'd just seen a ghost. "What the hell happened, dude? Where are we? Are you okay- why were you in the hospital, what happened to you??"

 

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Karkat replied, raising a brow at Dave. He let the human take his hands, but didn't seem to feel much of anything despite all the things Dave was saying. Dave blinked incredulously.

 

"We were in the hospital! I was in a chair, and you were in the- ...in... the-" Dave trailed off, and his eyes only widened further. Karkat's visage had begun to shift, crackling and rifting in his skin causing Dave to let go of his hands and take a step back. "Karkat, karkat, what the fuck-" He questioned, his voice warbling and his hands trembling. Karkat opened his mouth, but instead of words... oil started to drip from his tongue. Dave shouted, stumbling backwards and falling. Instead of hitting the floor, he kept falling.

 

Open air hit him from all sides as he did. He thought that he would never stop falling, his hands reaching up to clutch against his head and cover his eyes from the horrors he might see. Was he destined to be here for eternity? Descending into nothingness for as long as he would live- which was forever. What a painful reminder, every time, that he was going to be alive forever. He wished he could say he wasn't afraid. Finally, Dave felt his back make impact against the ground. For a moment, Dave thought he was just waiting for the pain to settle in... but the pain never came. Instead, he slowly blinked his eyes open to find himself staring up at a place he never thought he'd ever have to see again. Burning reds and oranges assaulted his vision, pooling lava surrounding all and any platforms separate from the hot deathtrap below. The mighty clangor of gears and metal hit his ears and he felt like he was going to have a heart attack right then and there. Why was he on LOHAM? Wasn't it over? Wasn't the game OVER? Dave found himself hysterically wondering if somehow they'd all been fooled. Was this some DLC to SBURB? Some kind of extra content that they were "lucky" to receive after a few years post-victory? The idea of it sent Dave into a premature dismay. He was so tired. They were ALL so tired. The game had wrapped it's unkind arms around them and kept them contained so long- so why couldn't they rest now? Dave slowly sat up, looking around in a daze. It was then that he saw Karkat again.

 

He was a fair distance away, standing in a defensive pose with his weapon out. He held firmly onto his sickles, shouting and shaking. But this time, Dave's focus didn't stay on Karkat for too long as his gaze shifted to the apparent enemy that Karkat was standing off against. Dave's skin crawled with immense dread as the light glinted off a familiar pair of triangular shades. The man- no... the BEAST that "raised" him- the one that made Dave's movements careful and left his guard up for so many years. The one that forced Dave to completely suppress his personality in fear of sharing obvious weakness. His Bro stood facing his boyfriend, and in the same moment that he realized this, movement had briskly been made. A sword was thrust forward, and the sound that it made as it made impact with Karkat's skin was so sickening that Dave felt he might throw up on the spot. The dread spiked into despair in an instant.

 

"NOO!!" Dave screamed, his lungs sore and his eyes wet with tears. Everything had suddenly gone away, and it took him a moment to realize he was sitting up in bed, looking around frantically next to a very baffled Karkat. A nightmare. It was all a nightmare. He reached up, wiping his eyes.

 

"Dave- Dave-?" Karkat said quickly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Dave, what the fuck, are you okay? You were making weird ass noises in your sleep and then you woke up screaming- the fuck happened?" Despite his language choice, the troll was beside himself with worry. Dave threw himself against Karkat, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. Thank God he was here, he was right here and his Bro was not. Karkat wasn't dead, but his Bro was. All was in order- all was right. But even in the assurance that his post-game existence wasn't crumbling, Dave couldn't stop sobbing against Karkat's chest. It didn't matter... the dreams reflected something all too real. One day, he would be alone. One day, he WOULD feel as if he was endlessly falling into a meaningless existence without his Karkat to catch him ever again. "Hey, hey, c'mon... talk to me, babe." Karkat rarely used pet names like that- he found them embarrassing and usually got too tongue-tied to spit them out unless the moment was truly serious and called for it. Dave sniffed, pulling up from where he'd been crying against him. He stared for a moment, before he reached up and held Karkat's cheek softly, pulling him into a rather intense kiss. Once it was broken, Karkat was even more flabbergasted. "Dave-"

 

"I'm gonna fuckin lose you one day, Karkat." Dave spat out, his voice cracked and his eyes broken. "I know that trolls have short life-spans when they're low on the bloodchart or whatever the hell it's called. I know that I'm immortal. That means you're going to die and I'm going to be alone for so fuckin long. Forever, even. I can't do it, Karkat. I can't stand being alone like that." He was so used to keeping things inside that spilling all his feelings out like this felt very similar to being squeezed of every last drop of blood from his body. He leaned his head against the cancer's chest once more, starting to feel fatigued. Karkat sighed, rubbing his back for a few minutes as Dave just sat there like that, cooling down. Eventually, a gray hand cups his cheek and brings him back up to look at Karkat. 

 

"Dave," Karkat's voice was gentle, caring... a side to the usually loud person that Dave knew well. "I know it's kinda really fucking awful to think about. You don't want to be alone- I get that. But... you won't be alone? You'll have John, and you'll have all your other god-tiered friends" Dave opened his mouth- "Yeah, it's not the same. I know that's what you're thinking. And you're right. Obviously it isn't going to be the fucking same, but you need to be there for them and they need to be there for you. I mean, fuck, what about Rose? She's your sister. She definitely needs you when I'm gone. Everyone is going to lose somebody at some point, and you'd think it'd be easier having gone through Death : The Game, but it's never any easier. In the end, though, there's just nothing you can do about it except for enjoy every last living moment you've got with them, and you've already been doing that with me." A grey thumb swiped over Dave's cheek to wipe a tear. "I know you're a fuckin time player and all, but stop worrying about the future. We have shit to plan for the now, Strider, don't ruin 'em." Karkat's awkward method of comfort managed to bring a smile to Dave's face as he nodded, hand on Karkat's. 

 

He was right. After Karkat's inevitable passing, Dave would have responsibilities. There were people in his life that were going to need him every moment during their immortality. He knew John was going to be a sap about everything, and Rose was going to bottle it all up. He'd have to be there to help them find a healthy medium, and in the end he was never going to truly be alone. Things would be hard, and the recovery would be bumpy, but he didn't need to waste his time with early grieving. He had a wonderful boyfriend and that was something to celebrate. Dave planted a kiss on his cheek and sighed.

 

"Thanks." He muttered simply, eyes brightened from their dulled nightmare state. "Don't tell anyone I lost my cool tonight, though." Karkat rolled his eyes and waved a hand dismissively. There was a sweet pause, and Dave knew he had to ruin it. "...Late night mac n' cheese?" The troll snorted loud and laughed at him.

 

"Yeah, come the fuck on, you sap."


End file.
